Don't Come Back To Me
by TheSaphicTemple
Summary: Sometimes things never change and you just have to let it go Brittana
1. Chapter 1

Don't Come Back To Me

Honestly, it's the not knowing that kills me. One day we'll be happy with no problems and the next she will just leave without a word. Then I start wondering if she will ever come back.

Each time she leaves, I feel that panic of if she will ever come back to me. I just sit there waiting. Wondering if the last night was the last time I will ever see her.

It's not like we fight or anything. Obviously, some nights we will yell some things, but at the end of the day, we say our "I love yous" and cuddle until we fall asleep.

We never had major problems. She is a dance instructor at the local academy and I am a lawyer. We make a good income and live in a nice house. We aren't married, but we have been dating for a while. We broke up for 4 years after high school to go to college, but immediately after, she came knocking on my apartment door. It's been 3 years since college.

At times when she's gone, I think of what she could be doing. I wonder if she's just out vacationing without me, or dancing or something. The first time I ever thought she could be seeing someone other than me was when she came home in a jacket that didn't smell like her. At first, I thought it could be a friend's or a family member's, but the more she went away, the more I thought she was cheating on me.

It's been 2 weeks. 2 weeks since I last saw her. This is a new record. Usually, she wouldn't go past a week, but I guess this is it. Every time she leaves, I have been moving on more and more. Of course, whenever she comes back I'm too happy to actually break up with her or leave or say all the things I'm feeling right now, but I can't help it. I'm so devastatingly in love with her. Or at least I was. This is probably for the best. She doesn't want to see me and I don't want to see her anymore. When she comes back (which I'm hoping for) I'll tell her all about the heartbreak she has caused me. I'll tell her how badly I want to still be with her, but she makes it impossible when she's gone. I don't want to change her mind. I want to break up with her. I'm no cheater and I want to start dating people who will love me.

* * *

I'm on my way home and as I pull into my driveway, I see her car.

She's back.

Shit.

I don't even know if I'm ready for this.

Here we go.

"Hey baby"

"Where have you been?"

"I just came back, isn't that what matters now?"

"No, you always disappear and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of us. I'm sick of you"

"What? I'm sorry okay please I don't want us to break up. I just had to do some things"

"Like what? Is it so important that you had to leave me for days without a text, note, phone call, or a letter or something?!"

"I can't tell you what it is."

"Tell me or we are done"

"Santana…"

"No. I'm so fed up with this bullshit. I thought you loved me because I sure as hell loved you. So tell me why you kept leaving or else consider us done"

"Please…I can't say pl-"

"Fine. If you can't tell me why you keep leaving me, then we're done. Over the past few months I've realized that I don't love you as much anymore. I can't love someone who doesn't love me."

"San please I do love you."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't disappear, you wouldn't have to beg me to listen that you do love me because I should know. You wouldn't keep a secret from me." Great now the tears are in my eyes. Shit. I need to finish this. She can't see me weak. No one can.

"Okay! I have been with Sam for the past few days. I just couldn't leave him like that I still love him"

"After all this I thought you were over that. I thought you would finally choose me instead of some stupid boy like you always have. I thought that what we had was great. I thought that we would finally be together without complications and be happy. I thought we would get married and have kids running around, but there you go again. Whenever I put myself out there for you…you turn around and choose someone other than me. When is it my turn? When will you choose me? When will I ever be good enough for you?"

"Ple-"

"You've said that enough times. You can pack your stuff and leave. Go back to Sam or something just gets out of my house! And Brittany?"

"Yeah...?"

"When you leave this time…

Don't come back to me."


	2. Chapter 2

Don't Come Back To Me

**Three Years Later**

What the hell happened to my life?

I used to be one of the most well-known, respected lawyers.

Now I'm working as a public defender and when I'm lucky, I can work some divorce and abuse cases.

But after me and _her_ split up, I turned into somewhat of a hot mess.

At first, everyone cut me some slack. The strong indestructible girl they knew started crying at work in front of people. When they knew something was wrong they searched for the reason and probably realized the lack of pictures with a certain blonde in my office. The days of my depression went to weeks and weeks into months and soon I was demoted. After that, everything started spiraling out of control. Bills weren't being paid because I didn't work. Food supply was close to nonexistent because I wouldn't go out. Alcohol bottles littered every square inch my apartment, for that was all I consumed. To be honest, I was sinking myself deeper and deeper into a life threatening depression.

* * *

One day, when I ran out of the last drop of whiskey, I made a run for some chips and more booze. I only remember bits and pieces of that day. That day as well as the past few months, I have been in drunken, depressed haze. The next part I remember is seeing Rachel Berry take my belongings into her car and then next thing I know I'm in her bed staring at the ceiling with her staring down at me. She told me that I would be moving in with her. That I was killing myself and that I needed to pull it together. To be quite honest, moving in with Rachel wasn't as bad as I thought and sometimes I can tolerate her endless singing enough to sing along. Ever since that day, Rachel has been my best friend. I tell her when I'm feeling down or good enough to go out to dinner or when a case has me all stressed and she has been there for me through everything. I still can't fully let her in and it kills me. I want to let her in, but every time I think about it, a voice in the back of my head makes me remember _her_ and I hate it. I hate _her_. _She_ took so much of me when _she_ left. When _she_ cheated on me. I won't be the same. I hate _her_ so much. _She_ ruined my life. But I know I'm just kidding myself. I hate _her_ so much but at the same time, I love _her_. I always will. And even though I want _her_ to leave my head for just ten seconds… _she_ never does. There is never a second of my day that I don't think about _her_. Whether it's me saying how much I hate _her_ or how much I love _her_…_she's_ on my mind constantly.

* * *

Throughout the past few years, I haven't looked into _her_ life. I know that if I do, then all the memories and thoughts I have of _her_ will be replaced with terrible ones. Thoughts that would make me want to crumble up and cry. Thoughts of _her and him._ Sometimes I wish _she_ would come back to me. But most of the time, I'm fine that _she_ is gone. I don't need _her_. I never did. _She_ used me. Cheated on me. Played me like a fool. I can't forgive that. I can't want someone like _her _back. I hope that wherever _she_ is…_she_ is in pain. I hope that she wants me back so badly. I hope _she_ is suffering the same pain that I have to endure. Maybe _she_ will check up on me through some form social media and _she_ will see all the pictures of me being happy with Rachel, or Quinn, or Kurt. I want _her_ to remember what _she_ lost.

I want _her_ to want me back.

But it doesn't mean I want _her_ back.

* * *

After all these years, _she_ never changed. _She_ chooses everything over me. Artie, Sam, school (even though I don't blame her for that) dance classes and Sam again. I honestly thought that we have both matured. I thought that I stopped being such a bitch and _she_ started making our relationship a priority.

I was obviously wrong.

_She_ hadn't changed and I'm still a bitch. Sometimes I think we didn't make it because we are stuck in high school. We think the same way as back then, act the same, have the same friends… I hate it. And sometimes I think I did it. Maybe I'm the one who drove her away. Maybe I was too mean? Was I too clingy? Did I smother her too much? Did I not give her enough attention? Did I love her enough? Did I love her too much? Did I let her be herself? Did I give her too much freedom? I don't have the answers. If she broke up with me before Sam because of those reasons, then I would understand. Not everyone can have their happily ever after story. But she cheated on me. That makes me _hate_ her. I _hate_ her. I swear I hate her.

…I love her. I guess that's my problem. I say on multiple accounts how I hate her. How I don't want her back. How I don't need her back. But if she were to do some over the top surprise to get me back… then I don't know if I can stand my ground… I don't know if I can push her away. I never have and my biggest fear is that I never will.

* * *

One place where I am more relaxed than others is when I'm working some cases. Being a lawyer is my main outlet. Now, there is a new case and saying that I'm excited is an understatement. I don't read the names of my clients until I meet them and I don't know exactly why, but it's what I do. What I know so far is that this lady has been married for two years and they thought they were in love yada yada yada. The amount of times I have heard that phrase is unreal. Okay… she says "everything took a turn for the worse" yeah join the club. "He abused me a couple times" nice, now the good stuff. Her phone number is on the bottom so I'll just contact her. There have been many bluffs about this stuff and I have to make sure she is being honest. Oh man I'm excited. This will keep me occupied for weeks!

**To new client: Hello, this is Santana Lopez. I would like to take your case. We can meet at the coffee shop downtown at 12:30 tomorrow afternoon if that's good with you?**

Almost immediately I got a reply. It hasn't even been thirty seconds…

**From new client: Awesome! That sounds great that you so much**

I am so ready. This case is going to be great.

* * *

12:27

Okay. I'm here early, but still…coming early is not a crime and I have stuff to do

_Like cry over her?_

Shit. No shut up brain.

_Her blue eyes? Her pale skin? _

Oh my god! Shut up. I'll just play some Sudoku or something to make you shut up!

Oh the bell just rung for the door. It's probably my client, but just one more box left...

"Uh Santana?"

Oh shit I know that voice… but it can't be. Who am I kidding... It probably isn't her.

Alright let's see who this client is…

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

"Brittany…"

* * *

**A/N: I decided to continue this story obviously... I have a couple chapters ready and I will upload whenever I have time. Thanks for reading and reviews, favorites, follows and all that jazz is much appreciated! **


	3. Chapter 3

Don't Come Back To Me

"Brittany…"

"Hi Santana"

_Wait a minute… this means she was married to some dude for two years and thought they were in love? I thought we were in love, but she goes off and cheats on me. WAIT she married Trouty Mouth. I'm so stupid of course she did. She cheated on me with him and of course they are in love or whatever. WAIT she chose me specifically… is she trying to hurt me intentionally? What the hell did I do to deserve this? Just stay calm Lopez. Keep your shit together._

"Pleas, take a seat"

_Good just take a seat before I blow up. I just have to stay professional and this won't get out of hand..._

"Sant-"

"So tell me about your dilemma. Who is the husband?"

_Oh god I just made her sad… her eyes looks so sad… SNAP OUT OF IT! She hurt me… She hurt me so bad and I hate her._

"Uhm… Sam Evans"

_Yup. I knew it. Frickin bitch. She came to me on purpose. She wants to hurt me. Has she not had enough? She probably wants me on a platter. No she wants me six feet under and she wants to be my cause of death. I hate her. _

"Okay, tell me the problem"

"Well after you broke up with me…I got sad and went to live with Sam. And-"

_Seriously? "After you broke up with me I got sad" Bull shit... she is the one who hurt me. She doesn't have the right to be sad._

"I told you to tell me the problem."

"Well... I realized that I don't love him. I'm not IN love with him at least. I asked for a divorce because it wasn't fair to me or him."

"And he doesn't want one am I correct?"

"He says he's in love with me, but I don't feel like how I used to. The butterflies are gone and the words feel empty."

"Have you guys fought a lot recently?"

"It's just when I say I want a divorce, he brushes it off and then we start arguing. I moved out and I'm living at my parents' house right now. Sam and I are still having fights, but one time… I got really angry and I told him that I should've never left you and he started yelling stuff and then he slapped me…"

_I was the cause of an argument? She really shouldn't have left me. She killed me inside. She destroyed me. I hate her._

"Was that the abuse you stated? Did that happen again?"

"No, that was the only time, but I said it because I can use it against him right?"

"Yes. So far your side of the story is pretty strong and hopefully, his is weak or has a flaw in it. If so, you could have the divorce and possibly a restraining order if you feel like you want or need one."

"Thank you so much for this Santana. It means a lot to me"

"It's my job so I have to do this well."

_Shit that was harsh. But she came to me to hurt me. I just have to get the job done and then we won't have to see each other anymore._

"Right. Well it still means a lot that you would do this for me."

"I still have to think about it."

"But… you texted me. You said you would do it."

"Well, under the circumstances that we are in…I deserve to think about it. And I said yes because I didn't know it was you. Give me some time to think about it okay?"

"I don't want to be married to him any longer…"

"Yeah well you dealt with that for two years, a couple days won't kill you."

_I cannot deal with this right now. She needs to just let me leave. She wanted to get married to him and she did it. She was married for two years. TWO and she says she doesn't want to be married any longer? I don't want to be hurt and broken any longer! Not everything can happen. Not everyone can be happy all the time, not even her!_

"But-"

"I have to go."

"We haven't even talked for long… I wanted to catch up with you…"

"You had three years to do that. I have to go talk to Rachel"

_Why is she looking at me like that? She can't look at me with hurt! She did that to me for years! _

"Couldn't you just ask her to wait like ten minutes? I really miss you. I want to talk to you…"

"I'm late. I'll get back to you Mrs. Evans"

_That sounds awful… Worst frickin last name ever._

"I uh… okay I'll talk to you later San."

_She just called me San… I have to get out of here. What the hell am I going to do with this case?_

* * *

_I have two options…man up and take the damn case and get some money out of it…or decline and wait for another case to pop up. I have to start helping out more with Rachel. I barely have any money for rent and she's always the one buying groceries and all that. She has been the best and I really want to help her out more. But Brittany… I can't even stand being in the same room with her. It just brings back all those unwanted, hurt, and betrayed feelings I used to have. I can't live like that again. I can't be so goddamn weak all the time. But how am I supposed to fight for her when all she has done is hurt me? How am I going to be in front of a judge and convince anyone that she is the one who is right and that she deserves to win this case? I honestly don't know if I can. I don't even know if I should._

"Hello? Earth to Santana…"

"Huh? Oh uh… sorry Rach"

_Well that's embarrassing… when did she even get here?_

"Where'd you go? You seemed to be in deep thought for a while. You didn't even notice me coming in"

"Sorry I was just thinking."

"About what? Oh and how was the meeting?"

"It was…uh-… it was interesting?"

"This divorce case isn't one of those "murder and hide the body" types right?"

"Ha no Rachel… it has to do with the person I'm working with and the case seems good, but I'm not sure if I can work well with this person."

"Well as long as it isn't Brittany and Sam then you should be fine"

_Oh shit. How did she guess and how did she know that those two are still together? Does she know something? Is she not te-_

"OH MY GOD! It is them! I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to sound inconsiderate. I just didn't think they would be here and divorcing for that matter."

"How do you know about them? Because I sure as hell didn't get an invite to their wedding! Did you know about them before?"

"Santana…I did get an invitation but I didn't go I swear! I was here for you and I didn't leave…I just threw away the invitation and didn't look at it again…"

_She invited Rachel, but not me? We were best friends…Screw her of course she didn't invite me, but probably invited everyone else from glee club._

"Do you know who else she invited?"

"I know that Quinn was invited to go and be maid of honor because she told me, but other than that I don't know"

_Okay hold up. Quinn went to the damn wedding? I thought we were friends…she wasn't supposed to leave me to go to the person that broke my heart. She was supposed to help me get over her. _

"Santana…Quinn is your best friend as am I, but she is also good friends with Brittany and you know that just as well as I do. In high school you three used to rule the school as The Unholy Trinity and even though you and Brittany are not in the best of terms…Quinn has still managed to be friends with the both of you."

_Shit did I say that out loud?_

"I think you should talk to Quinn about this if you have any more questions about their marriage."

"I'll call her. Thanks Rachel you're the best."

"Yes, Yes I know. Now go and talk to Quinn."

* * *

"Hey S!"

"Hey Quinn thanks for changing your schedule around for me"

"It was honestly no problem and you seemed like you needed me when you called."

"Yeah…I want to talk to you about uhm- Brittany's marriage with Sam…"

"Oh… uh really?"

"Yeah. Rachel told me that you went to their wedding and you're her best friend and she came to me earlier today asking to arrange a divorce for her and I just want to know about it and if it was a good relationship and if you thought she was happy and stuff and I don't know just some facts and- "

"Okay San I get your point, but you are rambling way too much"

"Sorry…"

"It's okay and I'm sorry about not telling you about the wedding and everything... but ever since they got married…I think it all sort of went downhill. Obviously they started having problems after that honey moon phase where I just wanted to throw myself out of a building. After they were finished with the haze of their wedding and honey moon…I noticed that Brittany started to smile a little less and her bright blue eyes just weren't as bright anymore. She was starting to become sad and I didn't want to say anything because every once in a while she would be really happy and I thought they were working it out. Soon, she started coming to me for advice on what she should do with her marriage and all of that, but I didn't have answers for her. She got more and more sad and that's when she told me that she was going to get a divorce. She told me how unhappy she was and how she just wanted to run away sometimes. When Sam refused to have a divorce, she was extremely unhappy. She told me how the amount of fights has increased and how she mentioned you in a fight on accident. She told me about the slap. That's when I gave her the idea of going to a divorce lawyer, but I didn't know she would go to you."

_I'm still so surprised that she mentioned me in one of her fights with him… _

"I have to ask you a question and please don't be biased…"

"I promise."

"Do you think I should take Brittany's case?"

"Honestly, it's your end decision, but you get to help someone out who is completely upset about her marriage and you get to have some money along with it so in the end it's a win-win situation. You just have to man up and get over the fact that it's Brittany. If it were anyone else, you would take this case in a heartbeat."

_So I just have to treat her like everyone else. I should be fine if I do that. I just have to be professional._

"Thanks Q, I'll do it."

"There we go! Now get your pretty ass out of here and go prep for your new case!"

"Ha okay Quinn, I'll keep you updated. Love you!"

"Love you too San now, do you need me to get you a cab or did you drive here?"

"I drove here, thanks though. I'll see soon!"

* * *

"Hello?"

"It's Santana; I will take your case. Meet me at the same coffee house we were at last time."

_Hopefully this case will be over fast. I don't think I can handle seeing her face everyday for weeks. I just have to stay professional. I just have to treat her like everyone else. Then maybe I won't be the one who ends up hurt this time._

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews, Favorites, and Follows are appreciated! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner! I had tons of work to do and I got pretty busy! But... Enjoy :)**

Don't Come Back To Me

_Oh god I have ten minutes until my meeting with Brittany. Oh god. Why did I do this? _

**Don't worry about it! Keep calm and remember this is about business! Love you! –Q**

_Thank god for Quinn… how did she even know I was freaking out?_

**Thanks Q! Love you too wish me luck! –S**

**Good luck! –Q**

_Ha that girl… I'm lucky to have her as my best friend_

"What's making you smile so much?"

_Jesus that scared the shit out of me… remember stay professional_

"Nothing, did you gather all the information you needed for this case?"

"I had to bring something?"

"No. You just need to have everything that happened in your mind so we can beat Sam."

"I don't want to hurt him though… I just want a divorce and I don't want to have any problems with him. I still love him."

_She can never hurt a GUY, but she can hurt me right? She can't go to court for Sam who fucking hit her and stalks her, but she can destroy MY heart?_

"Then why are you even here?"

"I told you… I want a-"

"No. You still love him, you still want to be close with him, but being here with me working on this case will tear you two apart."

"But I just want a divorce with him…"

"You can't do that if he doesn't want one! He has to sign the papers! He has to agree! What do you not understand?!"

_Shit. I think I just indirectly called her stupid._

"Look, Brittany… I'm sorry I just want you to understand that you really shouldn't be here if you don't want things to end badly. You are accusing Sam for something that could get him into trouble."

"I know that Santana. I'm not stupid. I just want things to stop being so complicated all the time. I want things to go back to how they used to be."

_Does she mean before or after she got with trouty mouth?_

"Do you want to go back to the beginning of you and Sam's relationship?"

"No, I want to go back to before any of that happened."

_Well shit. _

"Brittany, you did this to yourself. You wanted to be with Sam so you are. You are always getting what you want when you want it. Why don't you just fight for what you have for once?"

"You don't understand San, it was a mistake and I know I should have fought for you! I know that, but I can't take back what happened. I just want to start fresh with you and I want to go back to where we used to be."

"You know that can't happen. I'm over it and maybe you should get over it too. It took me a while to forget about it, but you made your decision back then and I'm making mine now. You chose to hurt me so now I'm just preventing you from doing it again."

_Oh the lies… how did I get so good at this?_

"San… please. I realize that you are the only person for me. You have to know that."

"I know that now, but when I needed to know it the most… you chose Sam instead of me. You choose everything over me and now I'm done."

_Shit what happened to staying professional_

"I am so sorry, but ple-"

"Let's just get back to why we are actually here."

"Uhm... yeah sure. Can I get back to you in a couple of days to tell you whether or not I actually want to do this or not?"

"Sure. Just call me when you have it all sorted out."

"I will thanks."

"You're welcome. I'll be on my way, goodbye Brittany."

"Bye San"

* * *

_Damn it. I opened up way too much to her and I am so not over here what the hell. I just need to stay professional for the remainder of this and then I will be on my way and I won't ever have to see her again. All she has ever done to me is hurt me. And why does she want to get to our relationship? She has no right to think that. I should think that and I do, but I won't tell her that. If she thinks I hate her or don't want to be with her then maybe she will be the one who gets hurt this time. I don't want to hurt her, but it seems that someone is always hurt in our relationship and that someone is always me. I just don't want to go to bed crying anymore. This is so stupid. I don't even know if she will decide to do the case or not. Odds are she will choose to work things out with trouty and just leave me in the dark. Then invite me to their re wedding ceremony thing and name me maid of honor because I got their relationship back together like a fucking guru. I always thought my soul mate was Brittany. Always and now I'm just wondering if she is a lesson that I have to learn. Everyone comes into your life for a purpose and I'm just trying to find out what Brittany's purpose is. I thought I learned that I can't trust people so easily, but then she comes back like there is another lesson to be learned. I just want to realize it so I can get off of this continuous cycle of me getting hurt all the time. Honestly, I wish she wasn't just a lesson. I wish she was one of those people that stick around forever. I wish we were actually soul mates, but it looks like her and trouty are. I guess there is a reason that I have always hated him. Maybe I just sensed he would take Brittany away from me. I am so pathetic. I keep thinking that Sam just took Brittany away, but I know that she choose to leave. She chose to do these things to me and it wasn't Sam's fault. She just loves Sam and apparently more than me. I remember all those confessions of love we used to utter. All the nights we lay awake staring deep into each other's eyes. The soft kisses we used to give each other when one of us was sad or upset. I thought that was how life was supposed to be. I thought that once you found you're soul mate, you could live a happy life with only those things. Maybe I'm right. Maybe Brittany really isn't my soul mate and somewhere out in the world that girl is waiting for me. Maybe I just haven't found my soul mate yet like I had always hoped. Or maybe Brittany is my soul mate, but I'm not hers. After meeting her, I'm no longer mad. I'm just upset and sad that she found who she will be with forever and I'm stuck on the sidelines wishing I could be the one sweeping her off her feet or holding her hand in public. Maybe I really should let go and stop dwelling on the past and our failed relationship. But deep down, I know that I can't because Brittany will always be my one true love. My first love. The one I will always love the most. And while I'm sitting here thinking about all the things I wish I could do with her or say the things I want to say to her… Brittany is probably having some sort of make-up sex with the fish. They probably are saying how much they love each other and-_

_Goddamn it where is my phone? Oh finally how did it get under the couch?_

"Santana Lopez speaking."

"It's Brittany, I want to take the case. I'm ready to beat Sam."

_Holy shit. Pull yourself together Lopez_

"Okay, well we can meet tomorrow if you'd like?"

"Yeah, that's perfect I'm free at around 5."

"That's good I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, bye San"

_She just chose me over him. I became a first choice._


End file.
